she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
