We won't sleep together?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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