i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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