I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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