As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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