no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
