is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
