That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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