I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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