Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
