too bad you live with your parents still
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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