i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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