his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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