I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
