Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
