I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
