i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
