So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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