he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
