How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
