question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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