Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
