I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
