am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
