Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
