You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
