he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
