kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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