Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
