Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
