but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
