she was so not down for the gang bang
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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