Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
