People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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