Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
