So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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