My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
