I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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