Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
