whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
