On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Please don't give away my fajitas
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
