tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
