Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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