I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
