girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
