when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm sobbing to NWA
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
