"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
