I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
