I will die if light touches me.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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