yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
