I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
