I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
