Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
