Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
